Fashion Orbit

REMNANTS

You guys! So apparently you all watched American Idol or went to a Siouxsie Sioux concert or something, and now you are hellbent on sticking feathers in your hair. Which would be totally fine, I guess, except for the fact that roosters and fly fishing shops alike cannot keep up with your demand! Let’s just agree to keep our feathers where they belong: on headbands. (Gawker)

In other fashion anomalies, Jil Sander and Grey Ant have both teamed up with Teva to create the footwear equivalent of Frankenstein’s monster, or, as I’m sure they call it, comfortable heels. On one hand, they look like Tevas with heels (particularly the Grey Ant version), and on the other hand, they are ridiculously expensive. My advice is to skip all this nonsense and Ebay yourself a pair of Anyi Lu or Chie Mihara pumps. (StyleList)

While working as Creative Director at Yves Saint Laurent, Tom Ford used to get handwritten hate mail from YSL himself. According to Ford it was because he grew the business exponentially, but I think it’s fair to assume his enviable preternatural hotness may have played a role. In any case, sounds like he saved them for the scrapbook! (Refinery29)

Speaking of all things Ford, he’s now launching a beauty line. Ordinarily this would elicit a big fat meh from me, as I can’t and won’t keep up with fashion/beauty collaborations, but it is Tom Ford we’re talking about. Add in Ford’s no-nonsense approach (“there are a lot of products out there you don’t even need”), an intriguingly named fragrance of Jasmin Rouge and a superhot ad campaign with Lara Stone, and even I might be a convert. (Women’s Wear Daily)

Man ankles: hot or not? A completely innocuous yet oddly titillating sock-less gallery follows. (Wall Street Journal)

Photo credit: Nana’s Beverly Headband at Forzieri, $450.

Bad Ideas in Fashion: J. Crew’s Hairy Leg Tights

Via Gawker:

Preppy clothing enthusiasts recoiled today when J. Crew put a model with hippie-hairy legs on its website. Has J. Crew found its “inner feminist”? Is a disgruntled web designer playing pranks? We reveal the startling truth…

None of the above: Turns out these tights replicate the exact texture and appearance of super-hairy legs. These will either become J. Crew’s poorest-selling item, or best-selling—Halloween is coming, after all. Maybe they could market it as a sexy Chewbacca accessory?

In all fairness, the zoom on these tights reveals what nature and the design minds of J Crew intended - your standard run-of-the-mill lace pattern, and not some sort of hippie chic look. It appears that the choice of the “fawn” color on the models was particularly unfortunate in adding to the hairy legged illusion

Clearly the public ridicule has reached corporate’s ears, because not only have the lifestyle tights shots been pulled from main pages, but the gallery view has been changed to a more discreet, more obviously lacy image of the tights in their packaging.

It was good for a temporary, schadenfreude-laced giggle, though.

Image credit: Gawker

For Me to Poop On: Cynthia Rowley Designs for Pampers

Oh, hell. From Luxist:

Fashion designers have been creating more and more inexpensive tie-ins lately but Cynthia Rowley’s latest creations are meant to be used and tossed away. The designer has collaborated with Pampers on a line of designer diapers. Pampers by Cynthia Rowley will be available in 11 colorful styles - for boys and girls - beginning in mid July 2010 at Target stores and on Target.com.

The diaper collection will be available in pastel designs including madras, stripes and printed ruffles. “As a mom, I wanted other moms and dads to have more options in every part of their lives - even diapers,” said Rowley. “It’s the first piece of clothing your baby will ever wear, and it should be special.”

Maybe I’m crazy, but I generally think that non-special things should be reserved for pooping. The only good to come of this apparent designer diaper craze is the sublimely ridiculous limited edition denim Huggies commercial.

Nuclear Couture

Like peanut butter and jelly, fashion and nuclear physics is clearly a match made in heaven. From the BBC:

By day, Mark Suppes is a web developer for fashion giant Gucci. By night, he cycles to a New York warehouse and tinkers with his own nuclear fusion reactor.

In a hired workshop on the third floor, a high-pitched buzz emanates from a corner dotted with metal scraps and ominous-looking machinery, as Mr. Suppes fires up his device and searches for the answer to a question that has eluded some of the finest scientific minds on the planet.

Mr. Suppes, 32, is part of a growing community of “fusioneers” - amateur science junkies who are building homemade fusion reactors, for fun and with an eye to being part of the solution to that problem. He is the 38th independent amateur physicist in the world to achieve nuclear fusion from a homemade reactor, according to community site Fusor.net.

“I was inspired because I believed I was looking at a technology that could actually work to solve our energy problems, and I believed it was something that I could at least begin to build,” Mr. Suppes told the BBC.

Solving the world’s problems and possibly eligible for a Gucci Group discount…is he single?

“ This should put a clear answer to the question I am most frequently asked, ‘Was Kenley really that awful, or was she just edited like that?’ When she got angry, I knew to keep my distance. Clearly, she needs therapy. I feel a little sorry for her that she can’t control her emotions and behavior, but on the other hand, absolutely nothing excuses physical violence and throwing a poor, defenseless kitty at someone who is sleeping. I feel bad for the cat, the bruised apples and Zak.

—

Leanne Marshall on cat-thrower, liberal design “borrower,” and all-around unsavory character Kenley Collins.

Via Gawker

Remnants

Is The September Issue Anna Wintour’s swan song? (Fox News)
Fashion meets finance, wackiness ensues (New York Times)
Jessie from NYC Prep talks Fashion Week, Carmen Marc Volvo (Wall Street Journal)
Harvard finally caught on to the whole Gossip Girl thing, launches clothing line (The Frisky)
Marrying fashion and technology (Reuters)
Vivienne Tam to try hand at furniture (Furniture Today)
Hold on to your teens: the Twilight Barbie dolls are here (People)
Flip-flops apparently a potential hotbed for disease (NY Daily News)

Really, A Skinny Jeans Workout?

From CNN:

To look at her, you’d never know Jessica Ordona, 25, has a problem with her jeans. “I don’t like the fact that when you sit down, your stomach comes over them,” she says.

A retail specialist with a commercial real estate firm in Bethesda, Maryland, Ordona knows image is part of success. That’s why she has been diligent about hitting the gym four to five times a week. But even with all her crunches and lifting, she sometimes experienced denim frustration.

Unhappy with her former gym, Ordona decided to join a national health club chain in her neighborhood. Much to her surprise, she found a class called Skinny Jeans Workout, specifically designed to get rid of those annoying little bulges and bumps. “It’s different than your typical workout class,” she says. “It’s not high-impact cardio, but you’re sweating the whole time because you’re working every muscle group.”

The Skinny Jeans Workout and other programs similar to it can be found at health clubs across the country. While the specifics of the workouts may vary, depending on the health club, the goal is pretty much the same: It’s all about zipping yourself up into the smallest jeans in your closet.

I’m not belittling the positive effects of the gym, but I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: skinny jeans are not for everyone. Believe me, nobody is more saddened by this fact than I am, but if I have to choose between wearing skinny jeans and having my skull-crushing thighs look like snausages or, um, not, I’m going to go with not.

Photo credit: Shopbop

Insert Caption Here ______

Susan Boyle (in a Michael Kors dress, Giuseppe Zanotti heels, and J. Crew necklace) gets a makeover courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar.

Photo credit: Harper’s Bazaar via Dlisted

Trends Not to Try: Harem Pants

I keep seeing these blog posts and articles on “how to wear harem pants,” and really, if you need a primer on how to wear something, should you be wearing it at all? In the harem pant equation of 2x + y = z, where x is unattractive fit and y is a costume-like appearance, z becomes “what the hell kind of top am I going to wear with this?”

In our current economic situation, we should all be filling our closets with pieces that lean a little more towards the classic side of things. The harem pant trend may come back 20 years from now, but do you really want to be Princess Jasmine every year for Halloween until then?

Standard pants can get a little dry, so do try a cropped pant with a slight slouch instead (we featured a couple of good pairs in yesterday’s Sale Roundup). They’re more versatile, fit a wider variety of body types, and you won’t have to shove them in storage or cart them off to Goodwill at the end of the season.

Fergie photo credit: The Insider